What’s in a name?

This is a message to my offspring. Those on the www, read on in bemusement.

Dear Children,

I hope this helps to explain what’s the deal with your names.

Charlie, your name, regrettably, is Milin Charles Anderson. Your name in my mind was Charles Anderson from well before you were born. One of your grandfathers, my father is Alan Charles Anderson. His father, my grandfather, Charlie Biggs Anderson (clarification required – where is the Biggs from? Not Ronnie Biggs, famous train robber). I got the Biggs which when people have found out is my middle name they found very amusing.

I always wanted the Charles, not the Biggs. Your great grandfather was for a time called ‘Chiller Anderson’. Another story goes thus; When he was in the air force in WWII the sergeant called role call. This was on day 1 (citation required). The sergeant (or major to captain– citation also required) read from the list, the first name was your great grandfather. “Andersonc?” called the sergeant. The lads found this very amusing. Because the list had the men’s surnames followed by their initial, the sergeant read what he saw, Anderson C mistakenly became Andersonc. For the rest of the war Poppa Charlie was Andersonc.

I would like to get more information about this from my father and uncle who have done a bit of research into the Anderson history.

In the dark art of nicknaming, boys will change, shorten, alter, add bits or come up with something that bears absolutely no resemblance to a person’s name whatsoever. These names can be funny, tell a story or in some instances be cruel. They might tell a story. It is a boy thing.

For example there was a boy at my school nicknamed ‘Blindy’. He, as you might guess, had thick glasses. Not his fault. One chap tried to give another the name of ‘Cardboard’, in this case with limited success. Though many did stick. Bags, Oilie Dog Ienus, Dajiboy, Crispy, Beegle, Tubbs to name a few from when I was growing up.

So, how did you get the Milin? Well, your mother is from the Sikh tradition and according to the custom when naming children Sikhs gather a random (divine?) letter. To find the letter Sikhs go to the temple and the first letter of the first word when the holy book is opened that day is that letter. The child must be named using that letter as the first letter in the child’s name. That letter on that day being ‘M’. That was what I was told. I wasn’t there, nor was your mother. We were told the letter ‘M’ by telephone.

Here we are with a cross-cultural conundrum. Your mother was insistent on a ‘M’ name and as far as I’m concerned you have has been Charles for donkey’s years, well before you was born. On offer to your mother was the offer to have absolute autonomy on naming any subsequent offspring – that is, she can name him/her whatever she wants.

As this debate raged on, for the first month of your life you were unnamed. Finally we got a letter from Internal Affairs (NZ Government Dept that deals with affairs of the name). I wonder what happens if you refuse to name your child. The child needs a name and we were in wedlock and deadlock. Still are on this matter.

We looked at many ‘M’ names from lists, Bollywood film credits. Charlie was deemed ‘too English’.

So we make a deal. And I quote what your mother said “We will name him Milin on the paper work but we will call him Charlie”. I can call on several witnesses who will swear an oath on the Bible this is true. After less than a week your mother was calling you Milin.

Then there was the spelling of your name. Milan, Millin, Millan? My closest suggestion was Miljenko. I like that one. Especially if we were looking for names that weren’t too English. I was ready to go for that one.

So now we are in a situation where I call you Charlie, Your mother and her family call you Milin, my family? Some of them call you Charlie. Milin-Charlie has been used by those not wishing to take sides. It is a confusing situation for people who we meet or even see us in public. “Hang on she calls him Milin and He called him Charlie, what the truck?”

And then there is the outside influence.

Boy in Park: “What’s your name?”
Charlie: “Milin.”
Boy in Park: “Mellon?”
Charlie: “No, Milin.”
Boy in Park: “That’s a {insert impolite word here} name.”

I rest my case. Sorry son.

Then our 2nd child was born, a girl – and from the outset I thought the name Decibel might work well. Let’s just say, a good set of lungs. Without too much debate we settled on the name Jasmin.

Jasmin, your name proved somewhat easier. When the letter was drawn from the scriptures you got a ‘U’. Not one to follow tradition too closely that got dropped pretty quickly. Your great grandmother U_______ may have been a bit miffed by that. In fact I’m pretty sure she was. I was OK dropping the U. Ursula is the only name I could think of and she is the villain in The Little Mermaid. Apologies Ursulas around the world.

Anyway, your mother and I were in agreement that we liked the name Jasmin. It seemed to cross cultures and Jasmin(e) is the name of a plant we like so that’s good. The book Freakanomics has a whole chapter on the economics of having the name Jasmin/e and on reading that one might have 2nd thoughts.By the time I read that it was too late. We like it. From Jasmin I can be found calling you Jazz, Jazzy, J-pop, J and other offshoots. I think it is safe from mock but who can tell.

I just noticed now that spell check underlines Jasmin in red. Should we have used an e?

Where your name came unstuck is your Middle name; Isis. Once again, and to my surprise, it took very little debate before settling on the middle name Isis. Isis is the name of a Bob Dylan song (lyrics below, in my opinion a brilliant piece of music and storytelling. The album Desire is brilliant from start to finish, just in case you were wondering).

The song Isis is full of mystery, travel, storytelling and intrigue – these things I hope for you Jasmin Isis. You are already showing a strong determined outlook on life, you’ll do well. You like the song when I’ve played it to you. Your mum likes it too, I think. Maybe she was a bit sorry about the whole Milin affair. It’s nice to be in a song.

Shortly after naming you, well I’m not really sure when it happened, the terrorist organisation ISIS started doing all number of nasty and cruel things around the world. ISIS stands for Islamic State in Iraq and Syria.

I hope that Jasmin, having that middle name will not give you difficulties travelling into places like the USA should you wish to go there. Might show up in bold red at passport control, so far so good, no alarm bells going to France.

There you go kids, that’s your names in nutshells,

Lots of love,

Dad